7 tips to soften your language

soft

In informal language, you can say just about anything. And you don’t necessarily have to be polite.

This is not the case when using language at the workplace. Here the language needs to be more controlled, structured, and polite.

Let’s look at seven words or phrases which can soften your language:

  1. Thank you 

Use this phrase as often as possible. Don’t worry, the universe is not running out of thank you’s.

When you receive an email from a colleague, acknowledge it with: Thanks, Janet!

Or, if it has to be more formal: Thank you for sending the updated file.

If you are corresponding with someone outside your office, you can use ‘thank you’ as a form of acknowledgement.

Instead of writing:

This is to acknowledge the receipt of your application dated 12.02.18,

you could write:

Thank you for sending your application on 12.02.18.

Doesn’t that sound better?

2. Please

Pulease… Is used by teenagers often. And they are right in using it. Like ‘thank you’, please should be used often. Use please with everyone: to both your superiors and subordinates. Especially to your subordinates…

Compare these two lines:

Make sure that the annual reports are printed by 2 pm.

Please make sure that the annual reports are printed by 2 pm.

The word ‘please’ softens the sentence. And makes it sound less like a command. The person reading this message would respond positively to it.

3. Can vs. Could vs. May (asking for permission) 

The most informal way to ask for permission is can.

Can I use the conference room for ten minutes?

At work, if you wish to be more formal, use could.

Could I use the conference room for ten minutes?

If you are in a formal situation, then go for: may.

May I use the conference room for ten minutes?

4. Can vs. May (giving permission) 

When giving permission, we say, ‘yes, you can‘ or ‘yes, you may‘.

May is more polite than can.

Don’t say: yes, you could. That may cause some confusion in the mind of the listener. Well, could I, or couldn’t I?

5. Would 

Would is an excellent word to use when trying to soften your language.

Would you agree?

That’s softer than: Do you agree?

Here are some expressions that use ‘would’:

Would you mind if we start early tomorrow?

Would you like to read the summary first?

I would suggest we look at other options.

  6. Shall  

This is a polite verb to use. For example:

Shall I call all the interns?

Shall we start the meeting?

In fact, the term ‘shall we’ can be used at the start of almost any activity:

Shall we start the presentation? Shall we start the conference call? Shall we break for lunch? Shall we

When starting an activity (meeting, presentation), it’s a good idea to use: we. It’s a nice way of making people feel included.

7. Let’ s 

In a more informal setting, say with colleagues who you know well, you can use ‘let’s’ instead of ‘shall’.

Let’s start the meeting.

Let’s listen to Nalini’s update.

Let’s order a cake!

 

Being polite is important. It creates a positive atmosphere at work and is a professional way of conducting yourself.  Could being polite become contagious? I certainly hope so…

 

 

Will vs. Would

will you marry me

Let’s look at when to use will and would.

After reading this post, I’m sure you’ll agree that ‘will you marry me?’ is a better option than ‘would you marry me?’.

Use of will 

We use will to talk about the future. For example:   

“Natasha will complete editing the report by this evening.” 

We also use will when we decide to do something at the moment of speaking:

“Don’t worry. I will help you with the accounts.”

 Use of would

There are many ways to use would. We use it:

  • to talk about the past, in the same way we use ‘used to’.

When I was in Mumbai, I would jog everyday in the morning. 

When Praveen was here, we would review the sales figures every Monday. 

  • to ask a polite question.

Would you like to meet the duty manager?”

  • to make a polite request.

Would you mind if we leave early?”

  • to make a polite recommendation.

“I would suggest that we wait till tomorrow.”

  • to talk about something conditional.

“If I were you, I would hire both of them.”

 “I would attend the conference, if I could find the time.” 

“I would have sent you the file, if you had asked me.” 

  • with indirect speech.

“He said that Anjali would meet us tomorrow morning at the hotel.”

In indirect speech, we are reporting what someone else said. In that case, we use would and not will. We should not say: “He said that Anjali will meet us…”

When to use will instead of would

There are situations when using would could cause some confusion. Let’s look at these two sentences:

I would send you the finalised contract.

I will send you the finalised contract.

The first sentence sounds tentative. I may or may not send the contract. The unsaid meaning could be: If certain conditions are met, I would send it.

While the second sentence is more certain. It is more reassuring: yes, I will send it.

Having said that, do keep in mind that the use of would and will can be more nuanced. For example, if you want to be polite and are sure that there will be no confusion in the mind of the reader, you can write: I would send you the finalised contract. However, if you feel that there could be room for misinterpretation, then go for: I will send you the finalised contract.

And now you know why the question is: will you marry me.

Would you agree?