Speaking – amalfabian

The magic of the pause

I took this photo in a park that I often go to. Can you spot anything unusual? Take a few seconds to look carefully.

Did you spot the lighted lamps? Lighted lamps in broad daylight!

When we pause, we see things we would have otherwise missed.

Now, let’s look at the benefits of pausing when speaking.

Pausing gives you control

When we speak, we sometimes speak fast. This creates problems.

Our mouth may move faster than our mind. We may not have time to clearly formulate our thoughts. We may end up stuck at a ‘dead end’. We may forget to give a relevant example that could support our argument.

Instead of speaking at the speed of a Formula One racecar, do this: pause. It acts like a speed breaker on the road. It gives you time to think what you are going to say. It helps you organise your thoughts.

Pausing improves your language. When you speak quickly, you may not choose the right words to express what you want to say. Pause. Give your mind the space to search for that right word or exact phrase.

When we speak we may mispronounce a complicated or unfamiliar word. Pause. Give your mind an extra few seconds to prepare your voice to pronounce the word correctly.

Pausing lets you connect with the audience. When speaking, don’t be wrapped up in what you have to say. Don’t be glued to the slides.

Pause. Look around. Read the room. Do you see more interest for the second option? Are there some perplexed faces after you spoke about the action plan? You may wish to respond to what you have noticed.

Pausing helps your audience

Your audience needs time to absorb information. By pausing you give people an opportunity to reflect on what you have just said.

Pausing also allows your audience to prepare their minds for what is next.

You have something important to say. Make sure your audience follows what you are saying. Make sure they remember what you have just said.

Pause. Pause. Pause.

When do I pause?

Think in terms of thought groups. Thought groups are groups of words that carry a single unit of meaning. Here’s an example.

Say these two sentences without any pausing:

We need to start the social media campaign by November. The research shows that our target audience is mostly on Instagram.

Let’s identify the thought groups–

Thought group 1: We need to start the social media campaign

Thought group 2: by November.

Thought group 3: The research shows that

Thought group 4: our target audience is mostly on Instagram.

Say these two sentences again. But this time, pause after each thought group.

We need to start the social media campaign /pause/ by November. /pause/ The research shows that /pause/ our target audience is mostly on Instagram.

Can you feel the difference? Did you have more control while speaking?

Pausing is powerful.

Rules of thumb for pausing

Take very short pauses between word groups. The same goes for punctuation marks such as commas and semicolons.

After a full stop, pause for one to two seconds.

Pause before and after saying an important word or phrase. Two to three seconds should be sufficient.

If you have something dramatic to say, go for the dramatic pause. This could be a bit longer, say three to four seconds. When watching the Oscars ceremony, notice the dramatic pause. ‘The Oscar goes to….’

What we have covered are rules of thumb. Practice and find out how long your pauses should be.

Make sure to use pausing in your next presentation

Do you have an important presentation or speech coming up? Follow these steps to use pausing effectively.

Write down your presentation or speech.

Identify all thought groups.

Make a slash (/) after each thought group. You will be making very short pauses here.

Identify your main words or phrases. Before and after these key words or phrases, make two slashes: //. You will be making longer pauses here.

Next, record yourself reading the text. Be sure to pause at the right places.

Listen to your recording. How was it? Were your pauses too long? Too short? Perhaps, you could ask a friend to listen and give feedback.

Then try it again. After practicing a few times, you’ll start noticing something. Pausing starts feeling natural. You’ll be putting in less conscious effort.

Your future as a presenter

Imagine this: after a few presentations, you’ll be pausing naturally. You’re rate of speech will be just right–with the pauses acting as speed breakers. You will automatically identify thought groups. You will naturally pause before an important word or concept.

And your audience will be engaged. They will follow your line of thought as you move from one section of your presentation to the next. They will absorb your key points.

If during your presentation, a tricky question is asked, you respond by saying: “That’s an interesting point.” Then, you pause before saying anything else. By pausing, you give your mind time to consider the question and respond in a controlled, effective manner.

Does the scenario which I have painted sound appealing to you?

It’s absolutely possible.

And it starts with a pause.

Have you ever thought about how to use space when writing? Read this article on paragraphs and space.

Best website for learning English

Students frequently ask me which website they can visit to learn English.

Of course, there are so many out there. In my experience as a trainer, the best one is BBC Learning English. Their material is relevant and engaging.

This is a disclaimer: BBC is not paying me. I’m writing this post so that you could get the most out of the website.

Wait!

Before you google BBC Learning English, let me give you an overview.

The website has a lot to offer. Let’s start:

Vocabulary

The more words you know, the more precisely you can express yourself. When a person has a limited vocabulary, he tends to repeat words and phrases.

Whatever our English levels may be, we all need to expand our range of vocabulary.

It takes time to learn new words. My suggestion to you is this: go slow. Don’t just learn the meaning of words. Practice using them. Become familiar with them. Use them correctly.

I’ve noticed that students at times struggle with phrasal verbs. Do you freak out when you hear the phrase phrasal verbs? Help is at hand. Here’s the definition. If you are working, then you need phrasal verbs, for well, for work. And we all need phrasal verbs for technology.

Vocabulary is not limited to learning phrasal verbs. You also need to learn more words and phrases.

Visit this page to learn words from the news. I liked this episode on fake news.

If you have six minutes to spare, go to 6 minute English. I’ve just listened to the episode Call centres: Are you talking to AI?

English in a minute is a great way to improve your vocabulary. You can hit the nail on the head by learning new phrases within sixty seconds.

Remember, it’s not just about learning new phrases. It’s about using new phrases appropriately. I suggest you select phrases you like and try to use them during the week. Over time, you will be on fire!

Grammar

Are you comfortable with all the tenses that are there? You can confide in me. Be honest.

Tenses with Georgie is a good, fun way to revise tenses.

Prepositions can be confusing. Are you in a train or on a train? Mmm…. Not sure? Check out Prepositions with Georgie and find out.

If you like the idea of learning grammar by watching The Grammar Gameshow , go for it.

There is so much more when it comes to grammar. I know, it seems endless. Visit the main grammar page to find out more.

Pronunciation

Whatever your accent may be, that’s okay. What’s important is that you speak clearly and fluently.

The sounds of English are the building blocks of words. Are you keen to learn these sounds? Do you want to know the difference between voiced and voiceless consonants? You are at the right place.

Check out The Sounds of English on the pronunciation main page. I watched those short videos years ago, and I found them helpful. I hope you do too.

Tim’s Pronunciation Workshop is an effective way to learn about different aspects of pronunciation, such as elision and assimilation. Not familiar with those last two words? No worries. You’re probably doing some it already, in a natural way.

It’s more fun learning pronunciation than it is learning grammar. Do you agree?

Is there anything ‘more’ to do on the website?

On the right hand side of the menu bar, there is an option: More. Click on it with confidence. Don’t hesitate.

I have noticed that students often do not know their level. Do you know yours? Are you at the intermediate level? Upper-intermediate? Advanced?

Here’s the thing. Many students are generous when it comes to deciding which level they are at.

I’ve seen this happen lots of times: a person who is at the intermediate level believes that he is an upper-intermediate student! And the same goes for other levels as well. Many students are bumping themselves up a level.

I’m not a 100% convinced when it comes to online level tests. Having said that, try the level test at BBC learning English. See what you get.

If you enjoy listening to podcasts, try this out. You can listen while travelling.

Do you enjoy drama? I’ve just started listening to The Importance of Being Earnest.

There are many things to do in the ‘more’ section. Find out what works for you.

Before you go…

As you can tell, I’m pretty impressed with this website. It has a depth and breath that I’ve not seen anywhere else.

What do you do now? It’s up to you. If you want to improve your vocabulary, then click on the related links. The same goes for the other topics.

When learning English, be consistent. Consistency is the magic sauce that will help you improve your English.

Apart from BBC Learning English, here are two other websites I recommend.

Happy learning!

Learning English for people in a hurry

You carry many identities within you. Area sales manager. CEO. Chef. Head of accounts. Homemaker. Entrepreneur. YouTuber. Parent. Part-time painter. Professional dancer. Gardener. Baker. Foodie. The list goes on.

To improve your communication skills, there is an identity that you must embrace: the identity of a student. Yes, you read that right. Look in the mirror. There is a student gazing at you. Just because you’ve left college, that doesn’t mean you have to stop learning.

Where is your classroom? Your classroom is your office. It’s your laptop at home. It’s the unopened newspaper on the table. It’s that Netflix series you are binging on. It’s your favorite business website. It’s the device you are using right now to read this post.

Who is your teacher? You have many. Your clients who send you emails are your teachers. So are the Tedx speakers who inhabit YouTube. So are the ads you see on billboards. In short, your teachers are everywhere. The question is, are you open to being taught?

When I conduct corporate training sessions, what strikes me is the limited range of people’s vocabulary. They are fluent in the jargon of their field. They have good domain expertise. But, when they need to express their views on unfamiliar topics, they are at a loss for words. They are often stumped when they are asked to talk about social issues, culture, and the environment.

The higher up the corporate ladder you climb, the greater will be the demands on your communication skills. As you progress up the ranks, there will be times when you need to present to a wider, more diverse, audience. There will be times when you need to explain complex systems to people from outside your sector. There will be times when you need to be diplomatic to not offend investors or clients. There will be times when you need to speak about broader issues such as employment, climate change, and ethics. For all those times, you would need to speak fluently, effectively, and confidently. To do so, you would need to have a wide range of vocabulary that you could immediately access.

Build your vocabulary

How can you enrich your vocabulary? Be more aware of the words and phrases around you. If you have a client who communicates effectively, find out why. When she writes emails, what phrases does she use? Could you use those same phrases when you write emails?

To learn in a more structured manner, visit BBC Learning English . There will be some words you are familiar with. But, there will be many words that you are not. Be open. Read the definitions for expressions you do not know. And check the ones you think you know. You may not know the precise meaning of a familiar word or phrase. You may be in for a surprise.

Do not use ‘fancy’ words to show off. Use words appropriately. Use the right word at the right time in the right context. Usually, simple words are sufficient. Remember, it’s not just what you say that matters, but also how you say it that matters too.

Listen for phrases you can use

When you watch a panel discussion, how do the panelists interact? Good speakers weave a narrative by referring to what was said before. They are not making isolated statements, but are interacting with one another, creating a coherent, meaningful conversation. Pay attention to the phrases that are used to refer to what was said before. For example, ‘I would like to build on what X just said.’ Or: ‘I partially agree with you, however…’ Could you use such phrases in your next zoom meeting?

Improve your pronunciation

Pronouncing words is a tricky affair. A problem with pronunciation is that when everyone around you is pronouncing a word incorrectly, you do not question that way of pronunciation. How can you escape this invisible loop? Doubt yourself. Personally, I have been often surprised when I checked words I thought I knew how to pronounce. I wish you many such moments. Cambridge dictionary is my go to dictionary.

The magic of awareness

Do you know what is essential for improving your communication skills? Awareness is the key that unlocks the door to better communication skills. Only you can open it.

Be aware of the spoken and written language around you. Be curious about a new word, phrase, or expression. Google it. Think about it. Absorb it. Notice if you come across it again. Decide if it would work for you. If it does, use it. If it doesn’t, no worries. Let it go. Whatever happens, you are expanding your language horizon.

Despite your busy schedule, you’ve read till the end. Bravo! Now, I have a gift for you. It is something that will last forever. That gift is: awareness.

Use it well.

Image credit: Pinterest

How you use your voice determines what you say

Two monkeys in suits are having an argument.

Imagine this. Your colleague has made a negative comment about your performance at work. The comment is blatantly false. You know it. And so does he.

The question is how do you respond. This is where the use of voice comes in.

Let’s talk about tone when it comes to speaking. Tone includes pitch, intonation, volume, and pace. We’ll briefly look at each one.

Pitch. This is how high or low you go. It is the frequency of vibrations in your vocal cords. When we get agitated, our pitch gets higher.

Intonation is the variation in pitch. A constantly rising intonation for every sentence means you are losing control of your voice. When you are calm and making statements, your intonation should go down. (Think of it as an arrow moving downwards to the full stop of this sentence.)

However, when you are flustered, that arrow points upwards:

How dare you! I will prove it. I never said that.

Note that the in each of these sentences the intonation goes up. Those arrows are hurtling upwards.

Volume: the loudness or softness of your voice. Look at those two monkeys in red ties. You can almost hear them shouting. High volume. Not good for health.

DoyouknowwhatIamgoingtodo? This is our pace when we are flustered. It is as fast as a bullet train. When we are in control of our emotions, our pace is slower.

What would the state of mind be for our monkeys? Mad. Perhaps disoriented. Exasperated. What words would they be using? Yes, emotionally-charged words. And the range of vocabulary may be limited. They would not be able to recollect or use more sophisticated, nuanced words or terms.

Let’s wave a magic wand and make the monkeys more zen like — a different state of mind. Although there is still conflict at office, now their tone of speech is different.

The pitch is lower. Their intonation varies. It does not have to be stable. That would be monotonous. But, it is not shooting up all the time.

The volume dial is somewhere mid-way between loud and soft.

The rate of speech is more controlled. It is more like a regular commuter train. Speeding up, and then slowing down as it reaches the next station.

There may be noticeable pauses as the monkeys mull over a point. Thinking before speaking. Always a good thing.

Guess what is happening? The words the monkeys use have changed. The range of vocabulary is wider. There is a greater variety of words being used. There is more precision in word choice. The language has become more restrained. The monkeys are better able to grasp the situation and work towards a resolution.

How did this happen? Just by a change of tone.

Control your tone, to control your mind. And then (almost magically), the words you use will be more measured, more meaningful.

This technique is not just for heated confrontations, where the stakes are high.

When you are having an intense back and forth with your manager, monitor your tone…

When you are being asked a difficult (maybe even unfair) question while making a presentation, monitor your tone…

When you are disagreeing with friends over politics, monitor your tone…

and you will choose better words.

How to interrupt in a meeting

Illustration of a woman conducting a meeting.

Imagine a time before zoom conference calls. Yes, a time before we were boxed in boxes on a laptop screen. A time before Covid-19 (I smile and sigh at the thought). Imagine a time before PowerPoint presentations. A time before cellphones. A time before even phones where you had to physically ‘dial’ a number. A time before cars. Before roads, even. Keep time-travelling with me. We have reached a time before the invention of the wheel. We are now with our ancestors huddled around a crackling fire, under a brightly-lit night sky. The topic is where to travel next. North? East? A unshaven man points to the hills beyond the forest. Someone else, to the valley down below. A woman just keeps shaking her head. Yes. We are witnessing one of the first meetings of mankind.

Over the millenia, when it comes to meetings, not much has changed. Meetings still go on and on – at times aimlessly. Your colleague makes an irrelevant point. X dominates the discussion (as usual). You want to say something important, but what do you do? Do you just blurt it out? How can you intervene effectively?

When intervening during a meeting (online or offline), it is a good idea to use phrases signalling that you have something to say. These phrases act as a bridge between your point and the discussion at hand.

So, if you need to interrupt the speaker, you can say: ‘Excuse me, I would like to make a point.‘ When all eyes are turned to you, make your point. Similarily you can say: ‘Sorry to interrupt.‘ Or you can start with the person’s name. ‘Anand. If I could just stop you there.‘

There are times when you have a perspective/opinion/fact that builds on what is being discussed. To introduce your point, you can say: ‘I’d like to add …‘ or ‘And in addition, there is also this fact…‘ Americans say, ‘I would like to piggyback on what John just said.’

In your next meeting, pay attention to how people interrupt each other. Do they just start speaking? Or do they begin with a phrase (such as Excuse me…) ?

How you intervene is influenced by the work culture in your office. If it is reasonably informal, then you could say, ‘I’d like to add...’ On the other hand, if it is more formal, then it would be better to say, ‘Excuse me, may I say something?‘

Also, think about where your fellow participants are from. When speaking with Americans, it may be alright to say, ‘I’d like to piggyback on what X said.‘ But if the participants are from India, they may not understand what you are saying!

I remember a day in my very first corporate training assignment – an MNC in Gurgaon, a place near New Delhi. We were practising how to speak effectively in a meeting. Sitting in two rooms, the participants had a mock conference call amongst themselves. They used phrases such as the ones we have looked at. There was a noticeable difference when they made interventions using these phrases. Everyone sounded more confident. More in control. More professional.

I’m confident that when you start using these phrases you will notice the difference. The next time you are in a meeting, and you are itching to say something, use one of the phrases we have looked at. You can mix and match the words from different phrases. See what works for you.

Now that you are aware of some phrases for meetings, be alert when people use similar phrases. If you like them, go ahead and steal the words. Use them in your next meeting. Our distant ancestors around that fire would have done the same thing.

Learn how to soften your language. This will make you a more effective communicator at work.

Category: Speaking