7 tips to soften your language

In informal language, especially with friends, you can say just about anything. And you don’t necessarily have to be polite.

This is not the case when using language at the workplace. Here the language needs to be controlled, structured, and polite.

Do you ask yourself these questions:

How can I soften my English?

How can I soften my words?

How can I be polite and soft spoken?

If your answer to these questions is yes, then you are in the right place.

Let’s look at seven words or phrases that can soften your language.

Tips to soften my English

1.Say thank you 

Use this phrase as often as possible. Don’t worry, the universe is not running out of thank you’s.

When you receive an email or WhatsApp message from a colleague, respond with:

Thanks, Janet!

Or, if it has to be more formal:

Thank you for sending the updated address.

If you are corresponding with someone outside your office, use ‘thank you’ as a form of acknowledgment.

Instead of writing:

This is to acknowledge the receipt of your application dated 12.02.25.

you could write:

Thank you for sending your application on 12.02.25.

Doesn’t that sound better? To me, it sounds friendly, clear, and professional.

2. Say please

Pulease… Is used by teenagers often. And they are right in using it.

Just like thank you, please should be used often. Use please with everyone: to your superiors as well as subordinates. Especially with those who report to you….

Compare these two lines:

Make sure the annual reports are printed by 2 pm.

Please make sure the annual reports are printed by 2 pm.

Do you see how the word please softens the sentence? It makes it sound less like a command. The person reading this message would respond positively to it.

3. Ask for permission using: can, could, and may 

The most informal way to ask for permission is can.

Can I use the conference room for twenty minutes?

At work, if you wish to be more formal, use could.

Could I use the conference room for twenty minutes?

If you are in a formal situation, go for: may.

May I use the conference room for twenty minutes?

4. Give permission using can or may  

When giving permission, say:

yes, you can

or

yes, you may.

May is more polite than can.

Don’t say: yes, you could. That may cause some confusion in the mind of the listener. Well, could I, or couldn’t I?

5. Use would 

Would is an excellent word to use to soften your language.

Would you agree?

That’s softer than: Do you agree?

Here are some expressions with would:

Would you mind if we start early tomorrow?

Would you like to read the summary first?

I would suggest we consider other options.

6. Know when to use shall  

This is a polite verb to use.

For example:

Shall we review the feedback?

Shall we start the meeting?

In fact, the term ‘shall we’ can be used at the start of almost any activity:

Shall we start the presentation? Shall we finalize the date? Shall we break for lunch? Shall we…

When starting an activity (meeting, presentation), it’s a good idea to use: we. It’s a nice way to make everyone feel included.

7. Use let’ s a lot 

In a more informal setting, say with colleagues you know well, you can use let’s instead of shall.

Let’s start the interview.

Let’s listen to Nalini’s update.

Let’s order a cake!

Instead of saying: Now, I would like to invite X to inaugurate the conference.

You could say: Now, let us invite X to inaugurate the conference. 

In the second sentence, we replaced the pronoun ‘I’ with ‘us’. 

That sounds softer. And more inclusive. 

I used ‘let us’ because it sounds more formal. In everyday interactions at work, use let’s.

Being polite is important.

It creates a positive atmosphere at work. It shows that you value your colleagues, clients, and vendors. 

When you are polite, you conduct yourself in a more professional manner. 

Could being polite become contagious? I certainly hope so.

For more on being polite, watch this BBC Learning English video.

Do you want to be more effective when intervening in meetings? Read this post on how to interrupt in a meeting.